Honda's Ghost Part 22

AN - and back to your regularly scheduled Monday post. :)

It probably wouldn’t surprise you to hear I have a temper.

It usually surprises me.

It took a while for Jonouchi’s meaning to sink in, and all the angles of it.

After it did, I was furious.

That may or may not surprise you. It surprised me. I didn’t think I could hold out so long, but I was so very angry and confused and hurt.

Right or not, and I didn’t want to admit it but Jonouchi was probably right, I didn’t speak to him again that week, or the next.

I was always in some sort of pain these days.

It was not my intent to be cruel, although I could tell I worried Jonouchi. I wasn’t entirely sure if he worried for or about me. Either way I knew he was watching and I retreated behind Honda more often than I like to admit.

Sometimes I got the feeling Honda was amused with me.

Later I would probably be amused with my actions, once I had gained enough distance from the matter.

No, strike that, I was already darkly amused at my actions, and some cruel part of my mind was waiting for me to draw blood.

Kaiba Land came much too soon, and I found myself having to fight with Honda’s sister about taking her son.

There was no way I was taking an infant into something as deadly as Kaiba Land.

I had to remind her that I was her brother, not her slave, and flatly refuse. The guilt laid on was so thick I almost chocked on it, but no, I wasn’t risking a child. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t be risking Yugi.

He sulked. I ended up babysitting the night before, and yes I do mean me and not Honda.

Honda told the others that he would meet them there, I knew Jonouchi and Yugi intended to go to the Arcade that evening. Anzu had turned down the ticket, saying she had work commitments, but Hanasaki was eager.

I felt guilty, but Kaiba was unlikely to hurt innocent bystanders, so Hanasaki should be safe as long as he didn’t make himself a target.

I did warn Jonouchi that something was going to go down at the amusement park. I don’t know if he believed me.

I felt ill prepared for the events ahead of me.

I truly had no idea what Kaiba intended beyond another card game, but the deadly nature of events so far made me wary, more so than I would have been otherwise.

I packed several useful things, thankful for my long coat and many pockets. Simple, useful things.

Like a box of matches, a packet of mini screw drivers, thread and needles, wire, a small pair of scissors, a notebook and cards. A pretty strong magnet I had been pleased to acquire. Then there were things like elastic bands and other random bits and pieces I had picked up.

I hesitated to take a knife, but decided to take a small one in the end, they were useful for things other than sticking them in people. I strapped it to my back, trusting it would stay hidden unless I needed it.

I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want Honda to die either.

I couldn’t help but feel I was walking into the lion’s den.

Or maybe a scorpion pit. I glanced at Kage, the thought amusing me.

It was probably a bad mix, black humour and dark fury, but it was a familiar mix, I could walk this knife edge.

The crowd was insane. I mean I knew it was going to be, and had I been in any other mood I would have quailed upon seeing it.

I do not like large crowds, people pressing too close, the noise, the confusion, the inability to see clearly.

Honda had one advantage over me in that he was tall.

Usually I would have grinned and bared it, but I had Honda. He also wasn’t afraid of crowds, and far more skilled at moving among them than me, so I tossed control over to him and curled up around his thoughts to watch intently.

This left Honda deciding where to go, but it wasn’t like I had any better ideas.

The big attraction was Death T.

That name should have worried me, but surely Kaiba wouldn’t be that blatant? Surely he didn’t intend to start off his dream with bloodshed?

It was probably just a name. No hidden meaning.

Surely if someone died the authorities would shut down the park, Kaiba couldn’t want that.

I hoped.

I hoped in vain.

I should have known.

The worse thing, the very worse thing about this world was how deadly everything was compared to what I expected.

I guess at some point I shall stop being surprised and horrified.

Well... on an intelligential level I realised I should be horrified. But my mind had narrowed to the silver bright of focused fury, all I wanted was destruction.

Normally I consider myself like a lake, calm on the surface with dark currents stirring rapidly beneath.

But here? Now? I was ice, shattered glass, sharp edges strained with blood. I was cold and furious and murderous.

My feelings about Kaiba preparing a number of Death traps for Yugi were nothing like the fury I had felt when Jonouchi was taken.

This was loneliness layered upon hurt layered upon protective fury.

I kept my eyes open for Yugi and Jonouchi, but didn’t see them. That was probably a good thing.

I have no idea how Honda was maintaining his composure. No idea why he wasn’t been torn to shreds in the glass storm of rage in my head.

The staff started encouraging people to go into the Arena, as Kaiba was going to duel.

“Honda!” Someone shouted, and waved, darting through the crowds.

“Hanasaki” The smaller boy was almost bouncing in place.

Oh dear.

“Isn’t this place great?” Hanasaki said, and started babbling about everything he had seen so far, holograms and games and the words flowed over and around me.

Dangerous.

We got seats near the front of the arena, only a dozen rows up.

I don’t think I wanted to hurt Hanasaki. The thought left me empty. I knew if I was in my right mind I wouldn’t want to hurt the boy.

Oh.

I didn’t want to hurt Honda either.

The storm in my mind had been careful, precise, it flew at my command.

Honda was to be protected, so there was a null patch, the eye of the storm, that surrounded him. Eerily calm, and probably uncomfortable.

Always uncomfortable. Wasn’t I curled around Honda’s thoughts, infiltrating his mind?

Then everything stopped.

The World fell away.

Grandpa.

Honda's Ghost Part 21

I suppose I should feel guilty for dropping Honda in it, but Honda wasn’t going to tell, and if he’s clever, if Jonouchi reacts badly, well he can still salvage this friendship if he wished to.

I should feel guilty, but instead I felt a gleeful sort of excitement, Jonouchi knew enough, he should be able to put the pieces together, if he wanted to.

Yugi had far less pieces, but from what I knew of Yugi, he needed far less.

“Honda?” Jonouchi asked, eyes wide with realisation.

Shame and fear bubbled over, foreign pain, but still pain and I felt a flash of sorrow for causing such conflict within Honda.

This did little to undermine the sense of glee I felt.

Honda glanced towards Yugi, who was looking very confused.

“Yeah.” He answered Jonouchi, resigned to his fate, his mind trying to inch it’s way around the black pit of despair that threatened if Jonouchi...

If what? I wondered. Jonouchi wouldn’t abandoned a friend, it wasn’t in his nature.

Whatever Honda feared, he wasn’t sharing.

Jonouchi’s gaze flickered to Yugi as well, I suppose up until that moment I hadn’t realised what it cost Jonouchi to keep quiet over my strangeness.

I saw him make a choice.

It wasn’t the one I expected.

It wasn’t the one Honda feared.

“You’ll have to tell us about that some time.” He said, slinging his arm around me... or rather Honda I supposed.

We were at the school gates.

I don’t remember the last time I felt so relieved to arrive at school.

Most of the relief was Honda’s, but I was completely thrown off balance by Jonouchi’s response.

He still cared, he wasn’t going to pressure us about it, he wasn’t going to reject us or demand answers.

There would be demands later, and I expected a lot of questions, but Jonouchi’s quiet acceptance threw me.

Neither me nor Honda could focus on school that day, nor the rest of the week to be honest.

For all that it seemed like Jonouchi was ready to listen, and Yugi was aflame with curiosity, neither approached us and Honda didn’t know where to begin to explain.

Neither was I ready to talk, the words escaped me, the knowledge that Jonouchi knew some of it for sure now combated against the idea that who knew what Jonouchi was thinking, I certainly didn’t.

So when Jonouchi didn't bring it up that day, I didn't mention it, and Honda kept quiet.

I half expected questions when I met up with Jonouchi the next morning, but we walked to school in silence.

He kept sneaking glances at me, and I wasn't sure what to make of that.

The next day was worse still, but then it was the weekend and I got a break from the heavy silences.

It worried me just slightly, that Jonouchi hadn't said a word, and I could feel Honda's confusion and almost smugness.

I wondered why but tried not to let it bother me.

Honda's sister started to take a sudden interest in Honda, much to my amusement, and Honda ended up baby sitting.

Honda was good with his nephew, I couldn't help but be surprised, that wasn't something he picked up from me, I was terrible with children.

Well... I say terrible, but mostly it's inexperience, and I had no interest in gaining that experience so...

Back to school, and I felt a sudden dread at enduring another of those heavy silences.

I waved to Jonouchi when we met, and told him, "You can ask you know."

I half expected that to open the floodgates. It did, but not in a way I expected.

"Do you have a name?" Jonouchi asked, and I couldn't help but be amused.

"Everything has a name Jonouchi, humans have a habit of naming every little thing they see, hear, dream..." I shook my head and couldn't help grinning. Jonouchi shot me a dirty look. "I am called Robin."

“Robin.” He rolled the name around, it sounded alien from him, drawing my name out into three syllables. I wondered if I would ever hear it spoken as it is meant to be said.

“Robin.” I repeated, clearly, but Jonouchi just shrugged.

I almost sighed, “Maybe I should have offered to let you name me. Then at least you wouldn’t mangle it.” I looked around, there are always birds about, but not the orange breasted one I saw every so often.

“Hey!” Jonouchi objected.

I smiled at him, shaking my head, “Are you familiar with a red breasted bird, about this big,” I cupped my hands, “Feeding mainly on insects?”

Jonouchi frowned, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. “You mean a jobitaki?”

Huh. Maybe. Would that work? I nodded sharply. “If you need to call me something, and I really rather you didn’t call me anything, use that. Jobitaki. I doubt it means as much to you as Robin does to me...”

Joey gave me a sideways look. “They are brave, not afraid of humans, easily caught.” He said, not unkindly, but I suppose there were similarities between the two birds beyond their colouring.

“Robin’s are brave.” I said, “One of the only birds to sing during the winter months, and fighters all. They defend their territories fiercely. I love them. So bright and cheerful against the dead of winter, and such a splash of colour in any season.”

“So. Jobitaki.” We stood at the school gates.

I gave him a weak smile. “Better than nothing.” I let Honda take control.

--__--

The next day Jonouchi looked me up and down before asking, “Jobitaki?”

I almost laughed. “You do know Honda hates mornings, don’t you?” Instead I let a grin steal over my face, and tried not to bounce in place.

Soon, all too soon, we would be heading into danger.

Let me have this, let me enjoy this.

Jonouchi gave an embarrassed shrug, “I forgot.” Then a shrewd look. “How long have you been...” He gestured.

I shrugged, trying to count the months and realising it had been months. It hadn’t felt all that long. Panic stole over me quickly, but I locked it down.

“I liked talking to you.” I said instead, “One of the bright spots in my day, even when I knew Honda was going to be mad about it.”

I wish I knew what he was thinking.

“But you have questions.” I said, trying to focus on the here and now, rather than the past or the uncertain future.

“Yeah, but are you going to answer them?” He asked, amused.

I stopped. Oh. Oh dear. Oh... Sugar spites. “I can try.” I said carefully, “I don’t mean to confuse you, to deflect you, to waylay you. It is my nature. Answering a straight question with a straight answer rarely sits well with me.”

He nodded. “How long?”

I laughed. He wanted that answer. “The day I warned you that you would be chasing that puzzle piece down.”

Jonouchi nodded, as if that was the answer he expected. “That was the first time I suspected.”

I shrugged, “I was off balance, it is not easy to slip into someone else’s life.”

Jonouchi raised his eyes to the sky, it was cloudy today, a heavy cloud cover that left no sign of the blue sky hidden above.

“Why?”

I laughed. “Why what? Why is the sky blue?”

Jonouchi shrugged. “Just... why? Why Honda? Why tell me? I had almost forgotten there was anything wrong.”

I sighed, and considered how far we had to go. “I didn’t make the choice, it was out of my hands. I suspect many things, but I do not know. I will protect him, and you, and the rest of our friends. And I told you because... because you would have figured it out one day, and it would have been bad.”

It was too complicated to explain.

That didn’t stop me from trying.

--__--

The next morning, and I was wondering if the Spirit was hiding away just for this reason, so he wouldn’t be questioned.

“We’re not toys you know.” Jonouchi said. “We aren’t children. We can defend ourselves.”

My breathe caught.

“I know.”

He gave me this look. I don’t know. It felt... damning.

“Do you?” He asked. “Because I’m not so sure.”

Life is a game. You only play once. The most deadly serious game you have ever played.

“I know.” I just forget sometimes.

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

I did laugh then, and reached out to caught his hand.

“I know you are, I can see the strength in you. I’m not trying to undermine you, just...”

He looked at me, weighting me up I suppose.

“Jobitaki.”

“I can see all this danger coming, but nothing I know is good enough, my information is faulty. I can see the shape of things to come, but I have no details.” I let go of his hand and walked away. I probably shouldn’t have told him that.

“Jobitaki.” He called, “This isn’t a story.” But he let me go.

Honda's Ghost Part 20

I did wake up, chilled from the floor, but having slept better than I had in a long time.

Yugi was still asleep, the puzzle clutched in his hands, his breathing steady and peaceful.

I watched him, wondering how deep a sleeper Yugi was.

Not very if my memories held true, too many nightmares. Or maybe all those nightmares would make him a deeper sleeper.

I didn’t know.

I inched over to my desk, the sleeping bag making a hissy noise from the movement, and grabbed an assignment off the desk.

I worked for an hour before Yugi began to stir, the peace so familiar, some days I missed my Joey so much.

I slid out the room, moving as quietly as I could and began to get breakfast ready.

It was several minutes later that a rather confused Yugi came down the stairs, wiping the sleep out of his eyes and peering at me curiously.

“Honda?”

“Morning Yugi. Sleep well?” I asked, turning down the heat on the hob to look him over.

I almost laughed at the confused look on Yugi’s face, but I suppose I really shouldn’t. I couldn’t help feeling amused, but part of me felt ever so guilty.

I was keeping secrets from every one of those I hoped to call my friends.

“Why...” Yugi trailed off, glancing behind me to the saucepan, “What are you cooking?”

“Eggs and bacon, how do you like your eggs?” I asked.

“Scrambled.” Yugi answered, shaking his head. “Wait, why am I here? The last thing I remember...”

How was I meant to deal with Yugi’s memory gaps?

The Spirit needed to tell him.

“You don’t remember?” I asked cheerfully, letting my amusement creep into my voice.

Yugi pouted, and I started cracking eggs.

He couldn’t have been entirely awake yet, I could see his mind mentally review his evening.

He still hadn’t answered when I set our plates on the table.

“Yugi.” I said softly, “You would have said something if there was trouble, right?”

Yugi glanced up at me, looking so lost I just wanted to ruffle his hair.

I grinned at him, and did just that, it wasn’t like I could make it any messier, “It’ll be fine Yugi, trust me, I have your back.”

He laughed and ducked away. I let him, returning to my breakfast.

I didn’t really know what to do with Yugi, he seemed so young compared to the Spirit, and we had rarely talked beyond greetings. I supposed I had spent all that time pushing Honda to interact with the kid when not making the effort myself.

Yugi dug into his breakfast. I suppose he didn’t know how to talk to me either.

“Have you heard the news about the new indoors amusement park?” I asked, seizing upon the first idea that came into my mind.

That may have been a mistake.

“Why?” He looked up, honestly curious.

I shrugged. “I have tickets to the opening day. Thought you might be interested.”

Maybe I should have just dropped the tickets in his desk...

“Really?” Yugi exclaimed, looking happy and excited.

“Really really.” I said, smiling slightly. I felt a bit like a parent dispensing treats. “I have four extra tickets, I figured you and Jonouchi would like to go.”

Yugi grinned, “That would be so cool.” He tilted his head, “Who else are you going to ask?”

I knew who I wanted to invite, but Honda wasn’t all that close to them.

I gathered up our plates and put them in the sink, running the water over them while I considered the question.

I glanced over to Yugi again, he was watching me, curiosity on his face.

“I’m not sure, who would you suggest?” I asked.

“Anzu and Hanasaki?” Yugi offered, his eyes bright and hopeful.

Honda stirred, far earlier than usual.

I hesitated to transfer control while Yugi was watching.

“Come on, we need to get to school.” I said, heading back upstairs to get changed.

Yugi looked ever so guilty as we walked, I just had to ask.

“Did you phone your gramps? Let him know where you were?”

Yugi blushed and shook his head. “Unless I did it last night...”

I considered, I didn’t want to worry the old man. Then again he might not have noticed Yugi leaving last night.

I should have asked I suppose.

No, I should have walked the Spirit home, things would have been far less awkward if I had.

Jonouchi was waiting at his usual spot, staring at Yugi, glancing between the two of us in confusion.

“Hi Jonouchi.” Yugi waved.

“I wasn’t about to let Yugi walk home alone last night.” I said, answering his unasked question directly.

“Alright.” Jonouchi agreed, “What happened last night?”

Amusement flickered, I stretched and yawned. “Well I didn’t get the full story...” I glanced at Yugi, “And Yugi doesn’t remember turning up on my door step last night, so I guess...”

Yugi shook his head, “I was heading over to Hanasaki’s, to borrow some paint for my garage kit.”

Jonouchi snickered, “And you ended up at Honda’s?”

“I don’t remember...” Yugi pouted. It was probably meant to be a frown, but Yugi couldn’t quite pull it off.

“A little bruised, a little battered, a little bit out of it. You probably hit your head last night.” I offered, “We talked for a bit, played a game.” Honda was drifting below the surface of my thoughts, interested but not insistent.

Yugi rubbed his head, “I don’t feel like I hit my head.”

I grinned, mischievously “Well then, maybe you were possessed. I hear there’s a lot of that going about these days.”

Honda wasn’t anywhere near as amused as I. I could feel a vague sort of annoyance.

“Possession?” Jonouchi asked, interest flickering in his eyes, “Like ghosts and things? You think...?” He trailed off, thinking rapidly.

Not the way I intended to tell him, nor the way Honda wanted him to figure it out if the flare of panic was anything to go by.

“Well I would know, right?” I said, meeting Jonouchi’s eyes, and pushing Honda forward.

His eyes widened.

My eyes were grey. Honda’s were brown.

“Honda...?”

Well this was going to be interesting.