Honda's Ghost Part 21

I suppose I should feel guilty for dropping Honda in it, but Honda wasn’t going to tell, and if he’s clever, if Jonouchi reacts badly, well he can still salvage this friendship if he wished to.

I should feel guilty, but instead I felt a gleeful sort of excitement, Jonouchi knew enough, he should be able to put the pieces together, if he wanted to.

Yugi had far less pieces, but from what I knew of Yugi, he needed far less.

“Honda?” Jonouchi asked, eyes wide with realisation.

Shame and fear bubbled over, foreign pain, but still pain and I felt a flash of sorrow for causing such conflict within Honda.

This did little to undermine the sense of glee I felt.

Honda glanced towards Yugi, who was looking very confused.

“Yeah.” He answered Jonouchi, resigned to his fate, his mind trying to inch it’s way around the black pit of despair that threatened if Jonouchi...

If what? I wondered. Jonouchi wouldn’t abandoned a friend, it wasn’t in his nature.

Whatever Honda feared, he wasn’t sharing.

Jonouchi’s gaze flickered to Yugi as well, I suppose up until that moment I hadn’t realised what it cost Jonouchi to keep quiet over my strangeness.

I saw him make a choice.

It wasn’t the one I expected.

It wasn’t the one Honda feared.

“You’ll have to tell us about that some time.” He said, slinging his arm around me... or rather Honda I supposed.

We were at the school gates.

I don’t remember the last time I felt so relieved to arrive at school.

Most of the relief was Honda’s, but I was completely thrown off balance by Jonouchi’s response.

He still cared, he wasn’t going to pressure us about it, he wasn’t going to reject us or demand answers.

There would be demands later, and I expected a lot of questions, but Jonouchi’s quiet acceptance threw me.

Neither me nor Honda could focus on school that day, nor the rest of the week to be honest.

For all that it seemed like Jonouchi was ready to listen, and Yugi was aflame with curiosity, neither approached us and Honda didn’t know where to begin to explain.

Neither was I ready to talk, the words escaped me, the knowledge that Jonouchi knew some of it for sure now combated against the idea that who knew what Jonouchi was thinking, I certainly didn’t.

So when Jonouchi didn't bring it up that day, I didn't mention it, and Honda kept quiet.

I half expected questions when I met up with Jonouchi the next morning, but we walked to school in silence.

He kept sneaking glances at me, and I wasn't sure what to make of that.

The next day was worse still, but then it was the weekend and I got a break from the heavy silences.

It worried me just slightly, that Jonouchi hadn't said a word, and I could feel Honda's confusion and almost smugness.

I wondered why but tried not to let it bother me.

Honda's sister started to take a sudden interest in Honda, much to my amusement, and Honda ended up baby sitting.

Honda was good with his nephew, I couldn't help but be surprised, that wasn't something he picked up from me, I was terrible with children.

Well... I say terrible, but mostly it's inexperience, and I had no interest in gaining that experience so...

Back to school, and I felt a sudden dread at enduring another of those heavy silences.

I waved to Jonouchi when we met, and told him, "You can ask you know."

I half expected that to open the floodgates. It did, but not in a way I expected.

"Do you have a name?" Jonouchi asked, and I couldn't help but be amused.

"Everything has a name Jonouchi, humans have a habit of naming every little thing they see, hear, dream..." I shook my head and couldn't help grinning. Jonouchi shot me a dirty look. "I am called Robin."

“Robin.” He rolled the name around, it sounded alien from him, drawing my name out into three syllables. I wondered if I would ever hear it spoken as it is meant to be said.

“Robin.” I repeated, clearly, but Jonouchi just shrugged.

I almost sighed, “Maybe I should have offered to let you name me. Then at least you wouldn’t mangle it.” I looked around, there are always birds about, but not the orange breasted one I saw every so often.

“Hey!” Jonouchi objected.

I smiled at him, shaking my head, “Are you familiar with a red breasted bird, about this big,” I cupped my hands, “Feeding mainly on insects?”

Jonouchi frowned, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. “You mean a jobitaki?”

Huh. Maybe. Would that work? I nodded sharply. “If you need to call me something, and I really rather you didn’t call me anything, use that. Jobitaki. I doubt it means as much to you as Robin does to me...”

Joey gave me a sideways look. “They are brave, not afraid of humans, easily caught.” He said, not unkindly, but I suppose there were similarities between the two birds beyond their colouring.

“Robin’s are brave.” I said, “One of the only birds to sing during the winter months, and fighters all. They defend their territories fiercely. I love them. So bright and cheerful against the dead of winter, and such a splash of colour in any season.”

“So. Jobitaki.” We stood at the school gates.

I gave him a weak smile. “Better than nothing.” I let Honda take control.

--__--

The next day Jonouchi looked me up and down before asking, “Jobitaki?”

I almost laughed. “You do know Honda hates mornings, don’t you?” Instead I let a grin steal over my face, and tried not to bounce in place.

Soon, all too soon, we would be heading into danger.

Let me have this, let me enjoy this.

Jonouchi gave an embarrassed shrug, “I forgot.” Then a shrewd look. “How long have you been...” He gestured.

I shrugged, trying to count the months and realising it had been months. It hadn’t felt all that long. Panic stole over me quickly, but I locked it down.

“I liked talking to you.” I said instead, “One of the bright spots in my day, even when I knew Honda was going to be mad about it.”

I wish I knew what he was thinking.

“But you have questions.” I said, trying to focus on the here and now, rather than the past or the uncertain future.

“Yeah, but are you going to answer them?” He asked, amused.

I stopped. Oh. Oh dear. Oh... Sugar spites. “I can try.” I said carefully, “I don’t mean to confuse you, to deflect you, to waylay you. It is my nature. Answering a straight question with a straight answer rarely sits well with me.”

He nodded. “How long?”

I laughed. He wanted that answer. “The day I warned you that you would be chasing that puzzle piece down.”

Jonouchi nodded, as if that was the answer he expected. “That was the first time I suspected.”

I shrugged, “I was off balance, it is not easy to slip into someone else’s life.”

Jonouchi raised his eyes to the sky, it was cloudy today, a heavy cloud cover that left no sign of the blue sky hidden above.

“Why?”

I laughed. “Why what? Why is the sky blue?”

Jonouchi shrugged. “Just... why? Why Honda? Why tell me? I had almost forgotten there was anything wrong.”

I sighed, and considered how far we had to go. “I didn’t make the choice, it was out of my hands. I suspect many things, but I do not know. I will protect him, and you, and the rest of our friends. And I told you because... because you would have figured it out one day, and it would have been bad.”

It was too complicated to explain.

That didn’t stop me from trying.

--__--

The next morning, and I was wondering if the Spirit was hiding away just for this reason, so he wouldn’t be questioned.

“We’re not toys you know.” Jonouchi said. “We aren’t children. We can defend ourselves.”

My breathe caught.

“I know.”

He gave me this look. I don’t know. It felt... damning.

“Do you?” He asked. “Because I’m not so sure.”

Life is a game. You only play once. The most deadly serious game you have ever played.

“I know.” I just forget sometimes.

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

I did laugh then, and reached out to caught his hand.

“I know you are, I can see the strength in you. I’m not trying to undermine you, just...”

He looked at me, weighting me up I suppose.

“Jobitaki.”

“I can see all this danger coming, but nothing I know is good enough, my information is faulty. I can see the shape of things to come, but I have no details.” I let go of his hand and walked away. I probably shouldn’t have told him that.

“Jobitaki.” He called, “This isn’t a story.” But he let me go.