Knights Against the Night Part 21

The sessions with the healers was some kind of torture.

Beano sat through the experience, feeling like it was a huge waste of time.

He didn't want to talk about the things he had done.

He didn't want to talk about his feelings.

He didn't want to talk about the past.

Half the time he sat down and did his best to only give yes or no answers. It was a game some days, and others he simply didn't want to talk.

He knew there was a mark on his file that said uncooperative.

He knew on those days that Mars would look at him dishearteningly.

He didn't understand how Mars was getting through the sessions without problems.

"Would he want this for you?" One of the healers asked, a chocolate coloured doll with dark hair braided tightly against her head.

Him who? James? Mars? The big guy?

"I don't know." Beano answered honestly, the answer surprised out of him.

"You're hurting yourself." She said, tapping her clip board.

Beano flinched from her harsh tone, not what he expected from these healers. But maybe what he needed.

"No." Beano said firmly, "I wouldn't do that."

She looked up. "You won't allow yourself to heal. You won't let us help you. You keep going over what you could have done in your head. Is it helping?"

Beano grinned wildly, ignoring the sudden guilt that flared in his chest.

"No. Probably not." Beano admitted, not meeting her eyes.

She leaned forward, "If you don't want to heal, if you don't want to move forward, we can't force you."

Beano looked up with hope. "You're giving up?" He asked, smiling truthfully for the first time in weeks.

She leaned back, sighing, tapping her clip board again. "First answer me this, what do you see your future as?"

Beano paused, seeing nothing but a loaming darkness, panic fulling his heart, making his breathing rapid.

"Please Beano. I do not ask to hurt you."

Beano looked away, he couldn't bear to watch her. That sweet tone belied what she was asking for.

"Nothing." He said, "Darkness. Nothing."

She nodded, a note being made on her clip board.

"And Mars? Your friend? What do you see of his future?"

Oh.

"I..." Beano glanced back, wondering if she was serious.

"Maybe it's time to let him go." She said.

No. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"You are only dragging him down."